life is a battle

and I will accept the fight

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my madness and my sanity
There is a movie out there, named "The cube", and it's a pretty scary flick if you take it serious. It is about 4 people who wake up and find themselves together in a room in a building that is "The cube". They don't know how they got there, but it's like an afterlife of sorts. There is a woman trained in logic and maths, a policeman, a catatonic schizophrenic, and an accomplished prison breaker. They discover that the cube is full of deadly traps, and they start to move from room to room. The woman calculates that somehwere there must be an exit, and that the cube building is turning its rooms around a little like a magic cube. The prison breaker overestimates himself and dies first. The policeman dies at some point too. In the end, the woman dies and the schizophrenic opens the last door and walks into the light.

This is pretty much like I felt often. Because of the schizo, it was like I was of no use to people anymore. I couldn't help them as much as they could not really help me. I just staggered along. But then, all the others who seemed so useful and smart and successful perished, and I walked into the light which I saw in God, something which was a delusion for many of the people I talked with.


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